Wednesday, December 25, 2013

a not quite full heart

Four boys woke early.  Christmas presents have been opened.  Breakfast has been consumed.  Wrapping paper cleaned up.  And in the quiet of boys napping or playing quietly, my heart is quiet.  And longing.  Longing for this sweet girl that we've been working and striving to bring home for the last 3 years.  There's room on the mantle for her stocking.  There's room on my lap for many snuggles.

The Israelites waited through 400 years of silence.  Longing for a Deliverer.  The Messiah.  And He came in the most unlikely of ways.  Humbly.  To a young couple far from home in less than ideal conditions.  No fanfare.  No cheers or congratulations.  In the still, quiet of night, the long-awaited (dare I say, forgotten) One became flesh.  And this Word became flesh and turned the world upside down.

New numbers have been issued and we will learn of them in January.  In the meantime, during this wait (which I am confident won't be 400 years) we pray that God will draw us to Him as we long for His second coming with the intensity in which we long for the coming of our baby girl.

My heart is swellon with love for these boys God has given me.  But it is not full.  Full will come when she is home.  Finally home.

Merry Christmas, boys of mine.  And Merry Christmas, sweet Christmas we will sit in the glow of the lights and I will hold you with tear filled eyes and a grateful, very full heart.

Monday, February 11, 2013


It's been over 4 months since an adoption update.  Several reasons for that.  We've added a baby to our family.  Not through the miracle of adoption, but rather through the miracle of birth.  We are so blessed to have this little man join our crew of guys.  His brothers think he's the best baby ever.  I agree.

Another reason for the lack of update is the lack of movement.  Until we were in the hospital delivering this sweet boy.  My man was running around gathering photos because we got wind that our dossier was to be reviewed the next week.  When it rains, it pours.  We were grateful for the movement.  More confirmation that God is working to bring our Honduran daughter home.

Our dossier was approved, and we received a wait number in December.  We just finished updating our home study and immigration paperwork, getting it overnighted the day before it was to expire.  We like to keep things exciting around here. Praying that is the last time we see our social worker before our adoption is complete.

For a while, ashamedly, sweet baby girl was not at the center of my thoughts.  But now, even though we are experiencing the busyness of a new baby, she occupies my thoughts.  Each time I look into my baby boy's face, I see her.  I wonder, who's making her smile?  Who's rocking her?  Who's whispering "I love you"?  Who tenderly kisses her sweet face 746 times a day?  I want it to be me.  But it's not.  Not now.  And that makes my eyes fill with tears.

Have you seen the the trailer for the movie STUCK?  Tears flowing.  Heart-breaking.  Bring her home quickly, Jesus.  Bring all of these children to their forever families.