so close...

We are so close to submitting our dossier we can taste it!  Things are looking good in Honduras in that the adoptions are moving a bit quicker than the agency had originally anticipated.  So exciting.  The idea of holding our baby girl in our arms by Christmas is looking like it will become reality.  Please continue to pray with us for the funds to keep coming in.  Flower sales have been rather slow.  Our total need to complete the adoption is a tad under $15,000.  $6500 of that is needed in order to submit our dossier and keep things progressing.  Our goal is to have that money in hand by the end of the month so that the paperwork can be submitted.  The remaining $8500 is what we will need for travel and expenses in Honduras...including a humanitarian donation that the agency asks for which will go directly to the orphanage to help care for the other children.

We are having a garage sale on June 22nd and 23rd as a fundraiser.  We will begin taking donations the beginning of that week.  Consider what you may be able to donate...furniture, housewares, tools.  We are trying to stay away from clothes unless you have some really nice items that will sell.  We are excited to see how God is going to move mountains for us.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..."
                                                                                               ephesians 3:20

for myself...

The past few days I have been completing some projects for myself.  I made these pillows for my bed.  All from fabric and supplies that I already had.

Excuse the mess...it's laundry day...

After I put away all of the laundry...

not really...

my dad came over and helped me build some raised beds for a vegetable garden...again, with supplies we already had (from a not-so-successful attempt at an ice rink in the backyard)...thanks, dad!!!

But now it's time to get back to work.  Time to make flowers.  Time to sell said flowers.  Time to apply for grants.  Time to have a garage sale fundraiser.  Time to get creative.  Time to pray for God's provision.  Time to raise the 2nd to LAST goal amount of $5000 to keep things moving for our adoption.  I am so thankful that God's economy is not our economy.  As a friend put it...that's 100 people graciously giving $50.  Not a big deal when you look at it that way!  Pray with us for God's provision to keep moving forward.

We've had some setbacks along the road.  The lab work for our physicals for adoption was not covered under our insurance.  We have a ridiculously high deductible.  Nearly $1000 to pay for the lab work.  God is not surprised by our setbacks.  This is just another opportunity for Him to shine!

the last...

I find myself referring to milestones lately as the last.  Today I will spend my very last Mother's Day as a mom of 3 boys.  I wouldn't change a day in my life of mothering three boys.  (OK...maybe I would change yesterday.  Shopping with three boys is a nightmare.  Plain nightmare.)  But I have to say that around Mother's Day is one of those times that I wish I had a daughter....for those mother/daughter brunches that I usually frequent by myself.  Remember in the movie "Father of the Bride II" when George and Nina find out they are having another baby.  She looks out the window day dreaming of she and her daughter skipping down the street wearing sweet dresses and licking an ice cream cone.  Then George daydreams of a daughter running away from him screaming and throwing things...throwing a fit.  I'm thinking that having a daughter is like Nina's vision.  If its more like George's vision...keep your comments to yourself.  Don't kill my dreams.  I'd rather not know the truth.

homestudy

The beloved homestudy visit took place this week.  We prepped the kids.  We prepped the kids some more.  On how to be polite.  Why is that so quickly forgotten?  Prepping didn't help this situation.  I'm not sure anything could have helped this visit from the social worker.  The boys were silly.  Crazy silly.  Almost obnoxious.  Almost.  Rolling all over the floor while she was trying to talk to them.  Talking loudly.  I was ready to crawl out of my skin and show my ugly self to the social worker.  I showed restraint.  All the while thinking, these kids don't care who she is.  They don't care what she thinks of them.  They don't care what she'll write about them.  They are who they are.  I could learn a few things from my crazy, silly boys.  I'd be better for it.

missing my baby...

April is a bit of a hard month for me.  Two years ago on Saturday we lost our sweet little Carter.  I was 15 weeks pregnant and had been experiencing some difficulties with the pregnancy.  I had a placental abruption three weeks earlier and was put on a mild bed rest at home.  (BTW...bed rest is like a prison when you have three boys ages 7, 5, and 15 months.  Not to mention the man of the house starting a new job.  A hard job.  Church planting.)  I went into labor on April 2 of 2009.  That was the first and last time we held sweet little Carter.  He was already with Jesus, but we sang to him and dreamed of all things that we wouldn't get to do with this perfect little baby boy.  Even at 15 weeks everything was there.  Ten little fingers.  Ten little toes.  Knobby little knees.  Boy parts.  We could see all of his veins through his transparent, fragile skin.  The sweet little clamp on his umbilical cord made it all so very real.

Peace reigned that day.  Peace that passes understanding.  Knowing that Carter would never know pain.  He would never know sorrow.  He would only know perfect love from his perfect Father.  As much as I miss this sweet boy, I have such joy to know he is with Jesus.  I have such joy to know without doubt that I will see him again.  Perfectly whole.  What we cradled that day was just an empty shell.  I am so thankful for a loving Creator who is cradling my baby (babies...Carter plus 5 others) and loving him perfectly. 

Mommy and Daddy love you, Carter.  We miss you more than you know, but we're so thankful you're with Jesus.  Hugs to you.

always on time...

Things here at the Anthony household have been crazy!  We've had these bugs, which we recently found out are nasty drain flies...ewww, since October.  Yep...they were drowning in the punch at Thanksgiving.  Through a series of events in January, we found out that we had a broken pipe in our kitchen floor.  Not an easy fix when you live in a split level where the kitchen is on a slab.  This was likely the source of the flies as all the water and yuck from the garbage disposal was going right into the ground under our kitchen.

So, you can imagine what kind of a project this was going to be.  And here in the Anthony house, we don't hire people to do the work...we do it ourselves.  Only this time there was no we...at least for this part.  This was all Dan.  I did not see myself operating a jackhammer and digging into the yuck under the floor.  Plus, there were bugs involved.  And it made for a very dusty, dirty house.  So I bailed.  My parents were in Florida and they are just minutes away from our house.  And their house was clean.  And quiet.

Oh, come on...wouldn't you?

We, for sure, are thankful for some loving friends who helped us immensely!  You can see that our entire kitchen and hallway floor was going to need to be replaced.  I was excited about that part, but the timing was all wrong.  We are saving for adoption.  We have an adoption account that gets filled with flower sale profits and gifts from friends.  Then we have our own savings account that we are working at building up to add to that adoption account.  This mess was not to happen right now...not where we wanted to spend our pennies.  but, God knows these things.  This big mess did not catch him by surprise.  Neither did the hot water tank that went out last week.  Neither did the muffler that went on the car the week before.  Neither does my eldest son's need for braces, glorious braces.

I had a little meltdown yesterday.  Crying.  Asking God for a break.  Asking for something to be easy.  Something to work like it should.

I got home from church today and retrieved yesterday's mail from the mailbox.  I noticed our tax papers were there awaiting our signature.  It's always a little scary opening that envelope.  I always have this dollar amount in my head and am so hopeful that it is something close to that number.  I wept as I pulled the paper out of the envelope, realizing that that number blew my number out of the water.  God provided.  He provided for the unanticipated projects.  And then some.  Some for braces.  Some for a man we know who has a need.  And best of all...    
                                                                                            ...some for our baby girl!

I hate it when I have an unnecessary meltdown.  I hate it when I doubt God's plan.  I hate it when I fail to take all of my problems to His throne...to the One who can do something about them.
I echo the words of the father in Mark 9:24.

                                  “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

i'm a-chasing...

...papers.  The stage commonly known as the "paper chase".  That's where we are.  Is it a lot of work?  yes.  Is it overwhelming?  yes.  Is it stuff I shouldn't have to do as a mother of 3 already?  yes.  Am I enjoying it?  yes.  I am choosing to.  Each paper signed and notarized brings me one step closer to being the mom of my sweet baby girl.  Who'd of thunk that in order to be the mom of a daughter I would have to have fire exits posted on all three floors of my house?  Who'd of thunk that in order to have a daughter with whom I can have a tea party I would have to submit letters confirming my husband's employment and salary and benefits and life insurance policies?  Who'd of thunk that in order to have a daughter to buy sweet dresses for I'd have to be fingerprinted and have a child abuse clearance?  As crazy as this process is, I wouldn't have it any other way.  She...this nameless, faceless baby girl that has captured our hearts...is so worth it.  What a way to have a baby!

In my spare time, I'm reading the book Adopted for Life by Russell Moore.

Outstanding.  

I love how it compares the theology of our adoption as a child of God to the adoption of a child into a family.  I'm just on the 2nd chapter, but its one of those books that you know is going to be good after reading just the first page. 

And then there's flowers.

Business has been somewhat slow since the Christmas rush, but you won't find me complaining.  There are no rings of filth around my toilets...at least there weren't yesterday.  Mountains of laundry have been reduced to small hills.  More meals are being prepared and eaten at home.  The spring rush is about to hit with some open houses and ad spots, though.  I won't be complaining then, either.
                                               We are so thankful for God's provision for this adoption.